Living Life. Accepting Death.

Interdependence and impermanence are really real.

These days, many friends and family members are dying in their seventies, eighties, or nineties. These are people I have known, appreciated, loved, worked with, and learned from for many years, some for over five decades, one for seventy-four years. Larry Ward, Gene Marshall, Tho Ha Vinh, and Duncan Work are a few.

Some of them have been brilliant thinkers, writers, activists, and teachers. Their departures make me feel the preciousness of the life of each person I know, and move me to contemplate my own death. It is not surprising that this is happening to me at eighty-one.

How long do I have as this particular body-mind? What can I do while still alive? What can I contribute? Who can I help? I know that I should not dwell on my death, but on my life, my experiences, my reflections, my actions, my words. I am still breathing, walking, speaking, writing, and caring. I can still take actions that affect family and friends, society and nature, history and evolution.

But what is really possible for me to be or to accomplish?

In years past, I have been an organizational facilitator, leadership trainer, community developer, decentralized governance policy advisor, nonprofit manager, grad school professor, writer, and public speaker. I have been a son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, cousin, neighbor, and friend.

What is the most that I can do now with a lower energy level, balance and walking issues, and a slower memory? Can I make a difference in my country, county, town, or neighborhood? Can I inspire or equip minds and hearts around this planet? Can I be an example of an ethical human being?

In the past, I have tried to help people in poor villages, urban slums, nonprofits, governments, and businesses, as well as graduate students from many countries. I have dreamed of and written about creating a compassionate civilization. I have helped get out the vote to strengthen democracy and justice. I have given interviews on podcasts and websites. I have published books and written weekly essays.

Should I now focus on caring for my own body-mind and making arrangements for my departure? Should I care for my fellow citizens who are sick at heart concerning what is happening in our country and world? Should I make donations to help the hungry and the homeless? Should I protest violence and injustice?

I am doing what I can to help my wife improve her health. I am helping us and our neighbors to age in place. I am caring for my body-mind with exercising, walking, mindfulness practices, reading, and daily rituals.

Should I focus on writing my final reflections on how to be a human-earthling? Should I create thematic books with material drawn from my published poems, essays, speeches, manifesto/handbook, and autobiography? Should I focus on publishing a new book of the past two years of “Compassionate Conversations”?

The other day, one of my sons said that I should focus now on “comfort and convenience”. What might that look like? What about my calling to write and care for others?

What will be the trajectory of my energy, health, and mental acuity? How can I help prepare for climate and societal disasters? Will we stay in our home or move into a senior community? Will our country’s democracy and economy collapse and/or be transformed? What can I do to help?

Or should I be a householder monk, which I have mentioned before, focusing on spiritual, mindfulness, and ethical practices? Should I give away what little money we have or save it for our old age and our children and grandchildren? Should I do something dramatic to help wake people up to take compassionate actions?

Should I talk with each family member and friend to express my love, my regrets for not being more helpful, and my final encouragement for their lives?

Or should I just relax and enjoy being alive, listening to birds, delighting in flowers and sunshine, listening to French horn music, contemplating pictures of spiral galaxies?

So many questions, so much to do, so little time. What do you suggest?

How are you deciding what to do with your life? What are you doing?

For me, whatever happens is sufficient. It is the final lap of this particular body-mind. And then, the continuation of my words and deeds will care for all beings of Earth, this solar system, the Milky Way, and throughout this mysterious, conscious cosmos.

Impermanance and interdependence are aspects of the really real. There is only change, transformation, evolution, cosmogenesis. Everyone and everything is part of all that is - galaxies, stars, planets, air, water, soil, plants, animals, society, cells, molecules, atoms - all part of a sacred universe.

And it is all good and perfect.

Gratitude.

Yes.