Ann St. John - Wise, Compassionate Being: Life Is Not that Long
On May 2nd, 2019, Ann St. John wrote the powerful post below for her Facebook page, Ingratitude 2.0. On June 16th Ann died of cancer at 58. I want to share her words of wisdom and compassion here on this site. Ann was an extraordinary person - a successful business woman, and a loving daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, and grandmother. I knew Ann's parents better than I knew Ann, until she began to post on FB Ingratitude 2.0, Then I encountered her crystal clarity, searing honesty, and deep care for others; and I fell in love with her and cheered her on her journey.
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"I’m still alive!
"Some of my oncology team ask me why I think I have “beaten” the statistics? I tell them it is because I don’t listen to them. I just don’t let what they say to me sink in. “20% of people with your cancer die in XX months or XX years.” “40% get awful sores in their mouth on this medicine.” Etc.
"I think, “I’m gonna hard pass on that one. Thank you.” This information exchange goes on and on and on. The doctors talk, I let their words float through me like a cloud. I don’t claim them as my own. There is so much to ignore.
"It’s graduation weekend in Bloomington, Indiana and I just can’t stop thinking about the recent college scandal that was all over the news. I’m really writing this blog for parents. Somewhere along the line we started believing that every child (of ours!) needs to be in the top 10% of everything. Do you see how that’s mathematically impossible?
"I’m of average book intelligence. School was nightmarish for me. I would literally get sick so I wouldn’t have to go. I recently saw my grade school report card. How does a third grader get almost all D’s?
"Here is what I received from NOT doing well academically.
"I’m not afraid to fail.
"I start with the assumption that I will probably fail the first several times I do something. I didn’t know this was a big deal until I started talking to my mother who was the valedictorian of everything! Failing is not something with which she is comfortable. I talked to several of my academic wizard friends and encountered the same thing. Turns out failing well is a learned skill. I learned it! I am good at it! Do you know how much you can accomplish if you’re not afraid to fail?
"I have empathy for others in a way only someone who spent most of their childhood truly not understanding can grasp. I am often in situations where I say, “I don’t understand, please explain again.” I don’t hesitate to say “I don’t understand” where someone like my mother who always understood wouldn’t think to say that even if she didn’t understand.
"Another advantage of being average in book intelligence is that I HAVE to think differently if I am going to succeed.
"If a child in your life has integrity and kindness, they are going to be OK. Oh, and they have to be able to set an alarm to get up in the morning. Discipline and showing up is necessary at every level.
"The great news is that everyone can live an amazing life. My ability to ignore, I swear, has kept me alive. My teachers wouldn’t have said that was a great trait, but at age 57 I can tell you it is. I can also tell you that 100% of the people on the planet can change the world for the better. We all qualify for that.
"There is so much to ignore! Now go set your alarm and change the world for the better. Even if one lives to 100 life is not that long.
"xoxox"